Stress Relief
by Fading wind
Summary: Jack/Ianto. Jack wants to go for a drive on a snow day. Set after Exit Wounds.


Title: Stress Relief  
Pairing: Jack/Ianto  
Rating: PG  
Warnings/spoilers: Set after Exit Wounds.  
For: Day Four prompt at the LJ comm, redismycolour.  
Word Count: 3,003  
Author's Notes: Un-beta'ed. First Torchwood fic. *nervous* I fail at trying to be funny, but hopefully this worked.

**Stress Relief**

Jack walked into the Hub, shaking the half-melting snow from his coat, and the first thing he said was, "Let's go for a drive." Ianto looked at him, a cup of coffee in hand.

"Gwen isn't here yet. The snow, Jack. She's probably going to be quite late. She phoned me several minutes ago to apologise and say that she is trying her best to make it through the traffic," Ianto said.

"Ianto, did you hear me? We're going for a drive," Jack repeated a little more clearly.

"And Gwen is coming with us," Ianto replied immediately, offering the cup of coffee to Jack.

"I know she is," Jack said, accepting the coffee and curling his fingers around the porcelain cup to warm them. "Of course she is. I was just surprised you didn't ask me _why_ we're going for a drive."

"I thought you must have a good reason for it. There _is_ a lot of snow out there, after all, it's almost like a blizzard, and I noticed that you've noticed, so that's good, at least. I've been watching the computers and there hasn't been much rift activity though, so I have to admit I don't quite understand. I'm pretty confident that this drive won't have anything to do with work."

"It's pretty hot in here. You turned up the heating?" Jack asked, and then he took a sip of the coffee and choked a little.

"Yes, and the coffee is even hotter, Jack. Anyway, it was getting cold in here, so it was either that or start to wear that red scarf that someone gave me for Christmas," Ianto said.

"Oh, a red scarf? That sounds nice. Why not, Ianto? Red is your colour, after all," Jack said, smiling.

"It was given to me anonymously," Ianto explained. "Without any notes. Nothing. But seeing as it _was_ put under the Christmas tree here in the Hub, I assumed it could only have been you or Gwen, and something tells me it's not Gwen. I have been scanning it for alien technology, Jack. You can never be too careful, not after what happened last time."

"Last time?" Jack raised his eyebrows. Ianto gave him a pointed look. "Oh, you mean... that. Right. Sorry. I agree, Ianto, you can never be too careful. Who could possibly have given it to you?" he said solemnly. "Though... I would really love to see you wear it today."

Ianto gave some thought to this. "Well, the scan came up with nothing, so I'm guessing it's safe. It depends on what we're doing today."

"I told you. We're going for a drive," Jack said.

"You still haven't told me why."

"Finally!" Jack beamed. "Thought you'd never ask. I'll tell you once Gwen gets here."

"Oh. Right. Of course," Ianto said. He returned to his place in front of the computers, where his own cup of coffee had been lying neglected, half-empty and turning lukewarm in front of the screens. He twirled the cup around while he studied the rift activity graph. Exactly the same as the last time he'd checked.

He could sense Jack standing behind him, just breathing quietly.

His mobile rang, so he picked it up. It was Gwen. "Hey, I'm sorry, Ianto, I think we're still going to be stuck in the snow for quite a while. A lot of the roads have been blocked. Has Jack arrived? Are we doing anything important today?"

"We're going for a drive, apparently," Ianto said. "That's all Jack said to me. And I don't think it's work-related."

"A bloody drive? In all this snow? Is he crazy? Well I'm actually doing that myself right now, thank you very much," Gwen said. "We're travelling at about one metre every fifteen minutes and everyone is blaring car horns at each other."

"Don't ask me. That seems to be Jack's idea of fun," Ianto said. "Well, good luck with that. Take your time." He ended the call. Jack was still standing behind him. He swung round the chair and stared up at Jack. "We seem to have some free time on our hands."

"And what do you suggest we do with that time?" Jack asked, bending down, his hands on Ianto's shoulders, and kissing Ianto on the lips. Ianto stood up from the chair, still kissing Jack, and, stumbling blindly, knocked the cup of coffee off the table whilst he was trying to find a more comfortable perch. The cup smashed into pieces on the floor, and Ianto pulled away when he heard its crash. The small amount of coffee that remained formed a tiny puddle.

"I need to go clean that up," Ianto said hurriedly.

"Ianto, leave it," Jack said, gripping Ianto's hand.

"No," Ianto said. "Anyway, Gwen might walk in on us. Again. That would make it, what, the fourth time?"

"No she won't. She's gonna take _ages_. You might as well. You know you want to. Plus, this time she might actually decide to join in." Jack chuckled a little.

"_When_ I've cleaned that up, you can do whatever you like," Ianto said.

"Oh really?" Jack said. "Care to bring out that red scarf of yours?"

"I am not bringing it out until I find out why we are going on a drive," Ianto replied smoothly. He went to obtain a dustpan and brush.

"I'll help you, Ianto," Jack called after him brightly.

"I really think I can manage on my own, _sir_."

---

Gwen ran into the Hub. She was wearing a black puffa jacket, with the hood up, and heaps of snow had gathered on her shoulders. She brushed it off as she said, "I'm sorry I'm so late. The traffic was awful. It's bloody freezing out there. Ianto, could you make me a cup of coffee?" Ianto was sitting in his usual place by the computers. When he heard Gwen, he quickly answered yes and got up to fulfill her request.

"Where's Jack?" Gwen asked.

"I'm here," Jack said from behind Gwen, startling her.

"Oh my god Jack," Gwen said, looking at him. "Where the hell-- So what's this about a drive..." She paused, having noted Jack's slightly flustered expression, and the fact that he had buttoned his shirt wrong. She spun around to glance at Ianto, who was at the coffee machine, his appearance neat as ever. Confused, she turned back to Jack. "Um. A drive? Ianto said? And your shirt, the buttons..."

Jack looked down, blinking. "Oh. Oops. Excuse me. I wonder why Ianto didn't notice that before and tell me. I got out of bed too early this morning," he mumbled as he fixed the buttons.

Ianto coughed as he brought Gwen her coffee. "So, the drive?" Gwen asked once more, frowning at Ianto, who rolled his eyes.

"Well, I just thought, we rarely ever get so much snow, and it looks like we won't have to go hunting for aliens for a short while, not according to those rift activity predictions, anyway, and it's fucking freezing out there, so why not go for a drive and just enjoy ourselves? I think it'd be nice stress relief."

"Stress relief?" Ianto said sceptically. "Wasn't that just then good enough stress relief for you?"

"Ianto," Jack warned.

"Oh, what exactly were you two doing for stress relief, then?" Gwen said.

"Jack's very sorry you missed it. He wanted you to join in," Ianto said. "Didn't you, Jack? And oh, of course getting stuck in traffic would be great stress relief. Listening to other drivers yelling at you, the gloriously deafening noise of car horns, et cetera."

"Yes, thank you, I get the point, Ianto," Jack said. "We could drive to more... remote places. No traffic then."

"Jack, what a brilliant idea," Gwen said. "Then we'd just get stuck in the _snow_, instead. And because we'd be in remote places, it'd be even worse because no one would come to rescue us. And you're not thinking of going to the countryside, are you? Last time you did that, you know what happened."

"And we are not going through that again," Ianto agreed.

"Oh for god's sake, why are you two so against this?" Jack said, exasperated.

"Because it just... seems weird," Gwen said.

"And I can think of a million ways in which it could end in disaster," Ianto added.

"It's going to be fun," Jack said, but Ianto and Gwen still appeared unconvinced. "Come on. You'll love it. You really will. We haven't had fun in a long time. And if you two really think you've had enough of it we could drive straight back."

"Oh?" Gwen said. "When it comes to it, I don't think it's going to be that easy, Jack. You're usually cleverer than this, you know? I'm disappointed."

"I guess we could give it a try," Ianto said, hesitantly.

"Oh no, you don't," Gwen said. "I thought we were on the same side!"

"Sorry," Ianto said, nodding apologetically. "It's just. Well, it's been exactly four months. How about that, Gwen?"

"It has?" Gwen looked at her watch, at the date. "I. Well. Yes, it has. I suppose we could give it a go, then. Have some fun. The three of us."

"Yes. And I'll go get my scarf," Ianto muttered. Gwen watched as he and Jack exchanged a glance.

"And what exactly does that mean?" Gwen asked.

"He's just getting his scarf. It means exactly that, Gwen," Jack said, putting a hand on her shoulder and smiling.

---

"Wait, we're going for a drive in the _SUV_?" Gwen said incredulously, as Jack motioned for her to get in the car. "You never mentioned that. I thought we'd be going for a drive in a more... normal car, not the big black showy one covered in the word Torchwood in huge letters."

"It's got all the equipment in it, so if we do happen to run into aliens or other disasters on the way, we can deal with them easily. Hopefully. Plus, I think going for a drive in the Torchwood SUV will be much better than in any other normal car," Jack said. "Just get in, Gwen."

He closed the door after Gwen and got in the car himself. He was going to drive. Ianto sat down next to him, the red scarf draped loosely around his neck.

"You do look good in that scarf, Ianto," Jack said, winking at him. "Whoever bought it for you made a good choice."

"Thank you, sir. I really wonder who bought it. He must have very fantastic taste. Really," Ianto said.

"Is that a hint of sarcasm I detect in your voice?" Jack asked.

"No," Ianto replied. "I think it's more just than a hint, don't you?"

---

They were stuck in traffic in the middle of the city. Jack's plan was to get out of the city, and just drive round it, staying close but avoiding the traffic. However, this plan did not seem like it was going to work at the moment.

"Ianto, remember that time... it was before Gwen. It was snowing like this, and we had to go and deal with these alien tourists who wanted to see the snow because it never snowed on their planet. They'd landed in a small town close to Cardiff and even though they had friendly intentions, they couldn't speak any English so they just scared everyone away. In the end we had to show them around the desert town for about an hour because they refused to leave without doing any sightseeing. Tosh seemed to get on really well with one of them. Owen and Suzie went to deal with the people who'd been scared off. Probably made up some unconvincing story about how we were filming for a movie or something. It was kind of hilarious. There were people asking for our autographs even though they had no idea who we were."

"Did you Retcon them all in the end?" Gwen asked.

"Yes," Ianto said, rolling his eyes. "Isn't that what we always do?"

"They must have been confused when they woke up and saw they had your autographs," Gwen said.

"Oh, we took all of them back," Ianto said. "Would you like a Torchwood autograph? We have a stash of those somewhere back in the Hub. I'm pretty sure I know where they're kept."

"It was lovely though, signing for them," Jack said. "For a moment it was almost as if we were recognised for our effort. But we aren't movie stars. All these things we do for Cardiff and even the world, and no one ever goddamn appreciates us. Bloody Torchwood, that's all we are to them. People like Owen and Tosh, they're heroes. And they'll never be known." Jack leaned back in his seat, stretching his arms with a sigh. "When are we ever gonna move? I swear we haven't moved for the past five minutes."

"You sound like you need a drink, Jack," Gwen said, but from the look on her face, it was clear that she needed one too. "Oh, what are we doing, Jack?" she said suddenly, pressing her face against the window. "Why did you take us out for a bloody drive? We could have done with a trip to the pub instead."

Jack stayed silent. Ianto turned on the radio. They listened to some reports of traffic in Cardiff as the car slowly crawled along.

"It's cold in here," Jack remarked after a while.

Ianto turned up the heating.

---

They had finally escaped from traffic and were driving at a much more satisfying speed, but all of them were quiet and had been for a while. The road ahead was mostly deserted. Gwen gazed at the trees by the road almost forlornly.

"All right, so I guess this wasn't such a good idea after all," Jack admitted abruptly.

"I've got a good idea for stress relief," said Gwen. "Why don't we roll down the windows and do this?" She demonstrated by rolling down her window and starting to scream into the cold wind and snow outside. Jack and Ianto watched her through the rear view mirror with interest. She stopped after a while, spluttering. "Oh fucking hell it's cold," she said, shivering and closing the window swiftly. "My face hurts and I think I just swallowed a ton of snow."

"But would you say that was good stress relief?" Jack asked her.

"Yes, actually, it was," Gwen said, smiling. "I think I might do it again. Does anyone want to join in? Ianto?"

"No, you go ahead, Gwen," Ianto said, amused.

"Oh, come on Ianto. It's great! Look, I'll do it again," Gwen said. This time, she bellowed, "TOSH!", one neverending syllable into the hollow landscape. Something tugged at Ianto's heart when he heard it.

Ianto looked at Jack. "What do you think, Jack?" he said.

"Do it, Ianto," Jack said, grinning. "I would do it myself but I have to keep an eye on the road, don't I?"

Ianto inhaled deeply before putting his head out of his window and screaming, "OWEN!" The wind whipped past his face and it stung, and he closed his eyes and thought of the many times they'd teased Owen for being such an incompetent doctor as he listened to his own voice dissolving into the whiteness. And somehow, it worked. When he fell back into his seat, breathless, his ears and his nose hurting and his teeth chattering, he felt better.

"Do you think they can hear us?" Gwen asked.

"Well, it's a nice thought," Jack said. "But you probably know the answer to that, Gwen."

She met Jack's eyes in the rear view mirror and smiled thoughtfully, and then she decided to do it again. Ianto joined in for the second time. But this time, he cut off abruptly halfway and swore loudly. "Jack, the scarf, it's blown off," he said urgently. "Stop the car."

"It has?" Jack said, staring at Ianto. Yep, scarf missing, exposed neck... "Shit," he said, braking at once. The car screeched to a halt. Jack and Ianto got out of the car quickly.

The scarf was a visible red dot in the distance, standing out from the otherwise dull background, and it appeared to be stationary. "It's probably caught on a tree branch," Jack said. "That's a good sign."

He ran, and Ianto followed. Gwen, who did not have any idea what was going on, stumbled out of the car and sprinted after them. "What's going on, guys? Is it aliens?" she shouted.

"No, it's just my scarf," Ianto shouted back.

The scarf had indeed caught on a tree branch. It was, even more fortunately, a relatively low-hanging one. Jack tried to jump and grab hold of it, and he retrieved it after the third attempt. "There you go, Ianto," Jack said, wrapping the scarf around Ianto's neck more tightly this time. "It would have been a pity if you'd lost this gorgeous Christmas gift, don't you think?"

"Yes," Ianto said, clasping Jack's fingers before he could let go of the scarf. "Thank you, Jack. I mean it." Jack smiled and pulled Ianto closer with the help of the scarf, until their lips were almost touching.

"I'm here, you know," Gwen said, waving her arms.

Jack's smile widened even more and he pressed his lips onto Ianto's, kissing him slowly, taking his time to enjoy the warmth.

"Oh fine, ignore me, you guys," Gwen said, laughing a little. "I'm going back to the SUV."

But just a few moments later, she was back, yelling, "Guys, I'm sorry but it looks like we've picked up some signals! I think there might be aliens around after all. Stop snogging each other, we need to get to work!"

Jack and Ianto broke apart. "Dammit," Jack said. "I thought--"

"Come on, Jack. Let's get to work. It's our job," Ianto said. "And you'll get more stress relief later, I promise."

"Involving that scarf?" Jack asked, hopeful.

"Possibly," Ianto replied, smiling mysteriously.

**fin.**


End file.
